Late Night Rambles . . . In The Afternoon

Found a Ghost Post: something I wrote last night that I forgot about. 

I am not writing this in the afternoon as usual but at 2:59am.

Fifteen minutes ago I finished the two articles for the website I was writing for and the owner said they really enjoyed them and would be in contact with me when he needs more articles. Cool. I have a fan.

Anyway, I couldn’t fall asleep without writing about the movie I watched in my native literature class tonight–err, last night. It was called When The Mountains Tremble. It was filmed in 1982 during he peak of the Guatemalan army’s oppression of the natives (Mayan Descendants) of that country.

Let me start off by saying I’ve always felt a connection to every person. I was taught about spirit and love for the world and corn meal sporadically through my life, but I feel like I knew all of that without anyone’s input. And there wasn’t a lot of input; my father isn’t connected to his culture.

I genuinely care about every person on this planet, even the idiots I yell at sitting at a stoplight, even the professor who so kindly reminded me I’m a failure (Or, Ahem, change your thinking remember? See, I’m learning just like you guys. He reminded me I’ve had a setback), and even Smug Honda Guy and his pudgy wife. I’ve always felt I’ve been able to feel other’s pain. When someone hurts physical or mentally, I hurt along with them, even if they’re across the world. If I hear about it, if I read about it, see it in real life, see it on the news, whatever, it doesn’t matter; we’re all connected and I suffer just as much as they suffer.

I was the kid secretly crying over the news and bad things in the world. I still do; it crushes me immensely. There’s a lot of people aching out there and I have to feel every ounce of it.

It’s the people who have blocked out that feeling (*Cough* Politicians/Leaders/TheMajorityOfCelebrities *Cough*) that I don’t feel much remorse for. I love them, they’re part of us, they’re part of me, they’re part of we, but holly fuck are they dumb. They’re self-centered and weak to have let greed overpower their prefrontal cortex. How are you going to let an inanimate object control the better halves of your brain?

Anyway, I’ve never felt comfortable saying these things to people, saying I feel like I’m being guided, saying I feel connected with nature and people because, uh, hello, people think you’re a loon. They think “Oh shit, she’s finally done it, she’s fell off the crazy boat, she’s flapping in the crazy water like a crazy fish, let’s get the crazy-fuck out of here”.

Mind you, it’s 3:19 Am as I type this, I don’t even know what I’m talking about at this point.

Oh yeah, stuff.

Watching this movie was extremely difficult. Thank God the lights were off so no one could see how affected I was. These people were driven into the mountains of their own country by this army, most of which were of European Spanish descent, where they had to either hide off in the forest under the protection of the Guerrilla’s or live under the rule of the army.

There were news telecasts by the president who literally said, very blatantly, these native people are in our way, let’s get rid of them. I mean . . . at least they’re saying the truth, that’s more than America would ever do.

But the army snuck into the Native’s huts, raped their wives, kidnapped children and women and men and took them in the forest and slashed their throat, raided a town and killed close to a hundred people in front of the other villages, and had the audacity to blame the riot on the Natives, much like our some of our army members do in the middle east.

The government made the Natives have a permit to come into the city to get food and basic necessities.

The Guerrilla’s were not violent unless they needed to be, much like many of the Guerrilla’s in Africa. You hear that they tear apart soldiers boats and raid houses and huts but did you know about all the Nuclear Waste dumping we were doing in their waters right on their shores? You mean to tell me you wouldn’t get pissed off when your fish comes up out the water with four eyes, a monkey leg growing from it’s stomach and a tiny voice barking “mama”?

Anyway, all this drama in Guatemala these people get on video tape. They risked their lives. Some snuggled up nice and close to the government while the others raced through the hills with the Guerrilla’s avoiding the constantly circulating army helicopters. And I thought I didn’t feel safe in my home town.

Have you ever heard Native Guatemalan? It’s reminds me so much of African dialect clicking of the tongue but with a side of German slur in it. I’m not trying to make fun of them but this is for your benefit: Imagine someone clicking their tongue against the roof of their mouth, cutting off each and every word halfway through but adding a “shlawgen” type accent on them. It’s really interesting to hear, I loved it.

They did things much like the Natives up here: grind some corn, thank Mother Earth for the bounty, live according to nature.

I never knew about them until tonight but they’re also my people. We’re all each other’s people, but they are also my people. They also fight oppression because of who they are. They are also generational victims of colonization. They suffered worse when Reagan promoted United States involvement in feeding guns to the army to fight the “terrorists” the “Guerrilla’s”. Word leaked out once or twice what was really happening and although we were told repeatedly to stop handing the government weapons we refused to recognize anyone else’s authority or opinion but our own and continued. Jimmy Carter was the one to cease trading with them. One Guatemalan native woman wrote a book on the atrocities she faced, and spread it through Europe. Denmark and a few other countries also ceased trading and the Guatemalan government had no choice but to ease up their tension. I have no idea what state they are in today but you better believe I’ll find out.

I tell this story because you’re most likely not going to hear it from your average person. We all know there ain’t no way in hell a school system is ever going to tell you, not when southern states still label slaves as “workers” in their textbooks.

Oh don’t give me that look, take a damn joke.

It just astounds me how similar the Americas are to each other in terms of native history and how different the other side of the world was. What sparked such an arrogance that they believed they were destined to spread Christianity through the land? That they were on a quest from God? What still sparks that arrogance in the colonization of today? It’s not stupidity or ignorance because they’re fully aware of what they’re doing. If anything, they’re proud of it.

The other side of my family is Polish, Danish, and Irish. So don’t look at me like I’m another brown person just dissing white people. I’m white too. I’m a lot of things.

One of the things I am is curious. If only I could travel back to Europe before the spread of Christianity from the middle east. I want to see how they lived their lives before kings and queens; everyone was tribal at some point.

I’m accepting of all religions and all creeds. However; Jesus was not white, Rome. Come on now. What white person is going to be born in the middle of damn Jerusalem? Was he an Albino? And nice patriarchy you got going there with God being a man and all.

It’s just interesting. I will never disrespect someone else’s belief, I’m just 100% innocently curious of how this all played out.

One thing I can’t stand though is when people say “oh, natives passed their stories down through word, I can’t believe that, it got changed along the way”.

Hmmm. How many times do you think the Bible has been edited? Changed?

Believe what you want. Have faith, it’s good to have faith in something, anything. But do not brush away the significance of facts; that makes you ignorant and it forever taints your beliefs.

Rant: END