Run, Hide, Fight


Settle down, settle down, I have arrived!

Thank you! Yes, take a seat and endure my dry ass speech. I know how much you all love dry ass speeches.

Hear ye, Hear ye!

Alright I’m done.

I haven’t written in what feels like forever. I read a whole bunch of articles I wanted to write about and now that it’s been forever, I forgot. I also forgot, for about an hour today during my test, how to do a derivative. It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve done that as well.

I’m so ashamed of the other thing I argued with myself about on the test that I don’t even want to say it.

Okay I’ll say it.

3d_svgIf you know anything about life, you know there is a y-axis and an x-axis. And a z-axis, but that’s not relevant here. Well, there was a question that asked me to do a little special revolution with the y=0 line.

I argued with myself for twenty minutes in my head whether that was the x-axis or y-axis. I feel like I study so hard for the convoluted stuff that I end up forgetting the most basics of basics.

Obviously it’s the x-axis, but it took a lot of convincing myself. That’s what I hate about studying; I remember all the important things and forget about the things that are even more important.

The night before my test I had an orientation for my new job. It was four hours.

Four hours of sitting in “Training Room 1” learning about customer service I won’t have to provide. In fact, the woman running the session kept me out of all of the customer service exercises because I’m discouraged from talking.

I’m DISCOURAGED from talking.


I was also in a room full of high schoolers but it’s alright. It makes me feel superior. 

The leader was hilarious, as she always is (she interviewed me too) and she talks very quickly. She told us titillating stories and made us laugh with each other and with her. Then she showed us the active shooter video and shit got real.

Dramatizations can be over dramatic, hence their name, but this video was realistic and disturbed the hell out of the teenagers around me. They showed a man in sunglasses with a backpack walking around an office. He didn’t look too suspicious, but he looked suspicious enough. Then he pulled out a shot gun and blasted the fuck out of a woman and a man against the wall. He killed three more people before they explained what to do in the situation.

This Fucker

If anything it makes me paranoid. Luckily I’m good at sniffing out suspicious people. Everyone is suspicious to me.

This amusement park isn’t located in the best area. In fact, it’s smack in the middle of drug and gang areas. There have been men standing outside of the park with twelve inch knives concealed and just a few months ago there was a threat about a man wandering around with a gun. It’s not a joke and I didn’t take it as a joke. I hope the teenagers took it as seriously as it was and didn’t just pay attention to the gore.

If they can’t handle it on a T.V screen, they can’t handle seeing someone’s chest blown out in real life.

500-365776-847__1The fact that I’m working with cash is also very serious. I’ll have protection in the basement and it’s very secure, but being on the floor is worrisome, caring hundreds or thousands of dollars out in the open.

I’m sure we’ll talk more about security in training on Saturday.

If a shooter were to ever get in the basement . . . well, I don’t want to think about it.

It’s kind of impossible, given the fact that you can’t open the door without a special card and the floor employees don’t even know where the entrance is, is a little comforting. But it’s also not comforting that there’s only one door. That I’ve seen. There better be emergency exits I don’t know about, because I’m not getting my head blown off for a couple thousand dollars.

That being said, there are hardly ever incidents that threaten the park. People who aren’t under the influence of something and struggle with their cognitive abilities tend to have a tacit agreement with the neighborhood not to go messing around with a family place.

In light of the Boston Marathon incident and several other incidents since, they’ve added more security cameras, educated the workers more, and the security officers are all either in the police academy or trained from the police academy.

You see what I’m doing here? I’m justifying reasons why I shouldn’t be completely paranoid. It’s not working.


But the reality is that’s a danger for anyone, anywhere. Any place can get shot up or bombed and not just by people who pledge to ISIS or other terrorist groups. The more people there are who can recognize the signs, the better our chances of survival as a team are.

But like the video said, if bitches be slowing you down when you runnin’, leave they stank ass behind and save yourself.

That’s not exactly how the video said it, but it’s how they should have said it.

I’m sure I’ll feel better after my first day.

Provided my head doesn’t get blown off.

They gave me a nice little orange water bottle. You know, consolidation for getting my head blown off.

Ignore The Messy Ass Desk In The Background, Please

I got my head exploded and all I got was this lousy water bottle. That I can’t even drink out of because I don’t have a mouth.

I also need a watch. I’m not big into wrist watches lest they be smart watches, but because they act like cell phones now, because they work with Sim Cards and are specialized to specific phones, they’re a little too expensive and the batteries probably run low fast, I’ve opted against getting a new one. I’ll just get a a regular one. Much to my dismay.

I deicede to see how expensive bling watches could get, and found things like this:




Some of them were about 200 dollars.

You want me to pay two hundred dollars for a watch without numbers? Without markers of the hours? I’m confused.

I’m also scatter brained tonight. My Boyfriend got me these flowers. They’ve made my room smell delicious. And they’re pretty as fuck.


He also got me a necklace which is also pretty as fuck (and shiny; I love shiny) and baked me a cake. Which I’ve eaten. It was all chocolate. With chocolate frosting. And M&M’s. If you didn’t know, I’m a chocolate freak.

His job kept him all day on Valentine’s Day, but it’s fine, we’ll get days in the future. Plus, I mean, I got a chocolate cake. That thing was delicious. He said it was the first time he’s ever baked a cake by himself. It turned out amazing.

Although these last two weeks have been busy and full of panic and food poisoning, I’m feeling good about these coming weeks. Provided my head doesn’t get blown off on Saturday.