Don’t you love the power of irony?
Just this last week I was wondering where all my dreams had gone.
Stop thinking so melodramatically, I’m talking about my literal dreams. Those moving pictures behind your eyelids when you fall into (on an average scale) 8 hours of necessary unconsciousness.
Tonight they’ve flooded every crevice and crease in my brain to the point unconsciousness becomes rather unbearable.
As I’m sure you’ve noticed if you read my posts, I display several parts of myself on this website, my sarcastic and at times harshly opinionated dominant self which is, probably, the one my brain most frequents for the purpose of keeping up a personable persona. It’s the sarcastic humor that gets people.
I switch back and forth frequently depending on the situations, as I’m sure all of us do. How else could we as humans function as humans in the system we’ve created?
Tonight I’m not feeling as sarcastic or opinionated.
I awoke yesterday afternoon at 2pm after sleeping at 7am, went to eat with my boyfriend at 6:30 p.m, came home around 8:30 p.m and started falling asleep shortly after.
Every second I closed my eyes and fell into a sudden slumber, moving pictures appeared at lightening speeds. I only remember one: a spiral of white string descending into a black hole. It jerked me from my sleep.
Multiply that by twenty five and that’s how often I’ve woken up between the last five hours.
The dreams are unending. This has only happened a few times in my life and as much as I love dreaming, I despise it. They’re vivid and loud and convoluted, short lived and obnoxious. I’m one to always remember my dreams and the messages they carry, but when they fly unhinged from an assembly line, I can’t latch onto them or control them and, much like my thoughts, they clog up the breathing spaces in my brain and each time I awake with less hope of a peaceful sleep.
To deal with this situation, I call upon a part of myself seldom seen outside of my academic world. This is the part of me which swallows experiences and knowledge like a neglected dog does True Blue. They scarf down the food so quickly vets give it to them in small increments so they don’t harm their starved digestive system. That’s how I must receive education. If not, my brain will explode.
That’s a fact.
As I’ve said before, I’m a very intense person. Everything I do must be done to perfection (which is obviously unobtainable) and therefore I’m constantly striving to perfect what I’ve already perfected. It comes in handy in academia because I’m not bored easily. There’s always something I can fix, something I can learn, something I can use. Sometimes I push too hard and do too many things at once which only overwhelms my brain. Much like those dreams.
This is what I get for trying to get to sleep early. Unending torment.
Not really torment.
Although . . .
eh, it might as well be considered torment.
Then comes the hunger. The need for fresh human blood, warm and soothing down the back of my throat, the want for soft, stringy flesh stuck between my teeth, melting from the acidity of my saliva alone on the tip of my tongue . . .
I mean food.
I get really hungry at night. I know it’s not good to eat at night or before you go to bed (or is that a myth?) but sometimes I can’t help it.
Had a bowl of ice cream and a cookie.
I could have at least ate healthy.
I have a frozen arm in the freezer I was saving for later.
They’re fun to gnaw on like a turkey leg.
Do you think serial killers or cannibals have anonymous, carefree blogs like us? You think if they could bounce their IP address around the world like a seasoned hacker they could freely express their desires and actions without the threat of police intervention? Would it have the same therapeutic effect for them as it has for many of us? Or would it give them an excuse to test the system, test the people, and test themselves? See how grotesque they could get to impress their followers like the majority of other humans?
Think of the invaluable insight we’d have on the way they think. It’s all fine and dandy to classify the ones you catch into similar categories.
But what about the ones you don’t? What if they’re reading this blog right now?
10 Questions for Cannibals :
- What do humans taste like?
- Do you really crave flesh or is it about complete and utter domination?
- Which is better: cooked arm or raw arm? Have any seasoning tips for me? Do you use A1 steak sauce or Worcestershire sauce?
- Could you eat someone you care about? Or do they have to be completely irrelevant?
- Would you kill yourself if you had to become a Vegan?
- Would you eat a Vegan?
- Do you find cannibal jokes offensive or are you the one laughing the hardest because you understand it better than anyone else?
- Do you have other fantasies that don’t involve devouring flesh?
- Do you recommend everyone try human flesh at least once in their life? Is it “Bucket List” worthy or “forgotten to-do list” worthy?
- How long have you known you were destined to eat human flesh over antibiotic infused cows? I mean really, eating a human with all the things we get injected in our bodies? Cannibalism in 2016 makes eating a cow fed chicken liver instead of grass healthier compared to what we pile in our bodies.
Those are honest questions. Assuming I don’t get a sensitive cannibal, they shouldn’t be that offensive.
10 Questions for Serial Killers:
- Have you ever provided a cannibal a body in exchange for payment? Seems like a legit business opportunity.
- How did you like elementary school? Is that where your fantasies of killing developed? All the little snot-nosed rug-rats making fun of you for your big ears or pointed nose?
- What first raced through your veins after your first kill?
- Do you pick your victims by a physical characteristic or do you just place marks on those who get in your way?
- How would you define happiness? Sadness?
- If you’ve ever dismembered a body, why? Were you curious? Is it because you never got a chance to study medicine or is it because you got a chance to study medicine?
- How intelligent do you consider yourself? How intelligent do you consider other people? What is intelligence?
- Do you prefer to get to know a person before you steal their life for a greater satisfaction or do you prefer to ignore their existence and see them only as a physical thing created solely for your mental release?
- Why have you never been caught?
- What makes you laugh?
Those are also honest questions. I have a lot more but considering the fact that there probably aren’t a lot of cannibals or serial killers reading this, I decided to cut it off at 10.
If you knew someone was a cannibal or a killer, but you also knew what made them laugh and what makes their brain tick, could you be their friend if they never ate or killed you? If you weren’t their “type”?
Personally, I’m interested in everyone and anyone. As long as I don’t get a knife in my chest and my fingers in a frying pan as a garnish for a Caesar Salad.
This post took an interesting turn. This is why I love my brain and this part of me. We always have the most interesting conversations.
It’s 4:30 a.m.