This post is going to be about a recommendation of a book I read recently, but I just saw an ad for a battery powered toothbrush with Bluetooth connectivity and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to share this revelation.
Want your kids to brush their teeth on their own? There’s an app for that.
With this product you are able to:
- Focus your brushing on your most important areas with unique, adjustable settings.
- Track your progress over time with intuitive graphs and charts.
- Motivate the un-motivatable with helpful reminders, recommendations, and rewards.
- Sense when you brush too hard with Pressure Sensor Alert.
According to Oral B’s website.
For $99, you can be a real life idiot–with dazzling chompers. No longer do you have to worry about your low IQ getting in the way with your job interviews and your chances of moving up in the professional world; let your teeth do the talking for you and the app do the brushing for you!
That’s my sales pitch. I’d be a good marketer, don’t you think?
Maybe they’ll start a Facebook and Twitter share feed with the app, so you can compete with all your friends.
We do all know how to brush our teeth right? Or do we need our phones to do that for us too? Damn, if they can make an app for this, why can’t they make an app to interact with people for me? So that I don’t have to do any work on my anxiety? Make the friends for me, keep them entertained, and let me sit in my little corner and read some books and ignore reality some more. That’s the life for me.
We’re already in a virtual reality. Forget the Oculus Rift and Virtuix Omni, just step outside and look at the people driving with their phones in their hand, walking with their phones in their hand, sitting on the toilet with their phones in their hand, learning lessons in school in the classroom on the computer rather than from the teacher sitting two feet away, and now standing at their sink brushing their teeth with their phones telling them they’re doing it wrong. That’s a virtual reality.
We do all know never to brush our teeth right after we eat right? Bacteria proliferates. We do all know the majority of tooth decay is not due to our lack of brushing or any absurd modern dentist visits, but because of the sheer sugar and chemical content in our 21st century diets, right? If you didn’t know, now you know. You could get the best app in the world and it couldn’t save you from tooth decay.
Like I said, I wanted this post to be about a book. So I’m going to calmly and collectively and respectfully (not really) ignore this dumb fucking piece of shit product that you’d have to be a moron to spend $100 on unless you literally have physical or mental issues which keep you from keeping up on your hygiene and move on to something much more profound and intellectual.
Anyone ever read the novel “House Made Of Dawn” by Scott M. Momaday? If you haven’t even heard of it, I’m not surprised, but I highly recommend it. Novels these days are often in pure chronological order, you know–Beginning, Middle, End–with maybe a flashback or two for the sake of relevancy and honestly I get bored with that. Momaday is the epitome of unconventional writing and I admit when I first read it I paid way more attention to his style than the content of the story because when I write I stress to avoid tedious or obvious syntax, diction, and cliches. He did it in such a way that I was impressed; I don’t impress as easily as I’m distracted. You’ve got to maintain a certain level of power and respect in your writing to keep me following the story.
The skill comes in avoiding confusion and predictability simultaneously.
That being said, this book is not one for the “occasional reader” or anyone who struggles in understanding power in symbolism or motifs or the unwillingness to stretch their analytical and cultural muscles. If you’ve read Song of Solomon by Toni Morison and couldn’t understand what the hell was happening, House Made Of Dawn would be bondage without the orgasmic pleasure for you. His flashbacks are continuous throughout not only for the purpose of foreshadow but as means of showing the continuity and flexibility of time with the human spirit.
A great many of us find beauty in nature. But there’s a special connection to it that resonates with most american Indians who have spent their lives attuned to the old ways and the old stories and the emphasis in Momaday’s novel is unmistakable. With this descriptions you’ll find yourself connected to the tress, melting with the rain, and reveling in the spiritual and physical beauty even if you’ve spent your life in an underground bunker hiding from radioactive fallout (WW 3 everyone remember? Get ready). We follow Abel, an Indian who returns home from war stuck between the life his grandfather leads and the chaotic life of the western world. There’s murder, there’s sex, there’s religion, there’s spirituality, there’s deluded, murky-eyed priests, there’s alcoholism and there’s understanding. There’s a little bit for everyone and I think that’s partly what makes it so remarkable.
For those of you who care about recognition and awards, he got the Pulitzer for this, his first novel, in 1969.
I don’t recommend picking it up because it sounds “exotic” or because of some shallow interest, I recommend picking it up if you’ve got a true interest in the cultural values, in original style, in getting a glimpse of a lifestyle experienced by many and lived by many, in hearing a voice that isn’t often national or worldly. It may be hard to read and if you feel lost through the first reading, you’ll join the majority of non-scholar readers. It warrants a second read, absolutely.
He’s written many other books but I’ve yet to read another.
If you’ve ever thought of writing a fiction novel, I’d suggest studying his style and absorbing as much as you can from it. Most people don’t know that I’ve been working on a manuscript, because I used to hate people asking me “oh hey, really? What’s it about?”. Because, as you know, spewing your synopsis all over the place warrants the risk of negative criticism and I was often afraid of that.
I’m socially anxious, give me a break. It’s literally in my nature.
So I’ve got a few trusted people so far willing to give me critiques and once I hear from them, I’ll be willing to be more free with my ideas. But Momaday inspired me to a level I’ve never been inspired before. This is why it’s so important to read books, writers!
I’m a perfectionist and because of that I’m willing to dedicate as much time and energy into this as I need to. I’m not one of those people who can be satisfied with one career. My passions are many and I intend to pursue as many as I can in this short life. A lot of people say that, I know, but I’m one of those select few who sticks adamantly to their word.
I want what I do to affect many, not just me. There are few ways in a lifetime this can be achieved with the world as large as ours today, and one way is the legacy of novels, of books, of poetry, of art in general.
If I’m ever skilled enough to write with the clarity and power Momaday does, I can only hope to write something to inspire another as he’s inspired me.
That’s the power of the human spirit.
And the power of Pine-sol.