Broken Earphones = Hell To Pay


You know the day will be stressful when you wake up to find one of your earbuds dead.

You all know how important music in my ear at every waking moment is to me. If you don’t know, now you know. I hurt people who yank the earphones out of my ear because they think it’s funny. I hurt them. I’m not kidding.

Alright, I’m kidding a little. But only a little.

So before I even got out of bed, before I brushed my teeth, before I got some orange juice or said good afternoon to my father, I got on Amazon and searched desperately for some decently priced ear buds.

What the fuck is this?

Screen Shot 1 for amazon

“I received a discount on this product in exchange for an honest review”.

Firstly, how do you do this?

Secondly, on half of the products I found the only positive reviews were those who were given this “discounted” price. I don’t think half of these people give their “honest review”.

If you’re one of those people who aren’t internet savvy or just don’t pay much attention to the comment section of products, only the “stars” like a yelp addict, I’ll give you a little tip. Read the comments. Don’t just read them to hear the good things or the bad things, read them like every single person is a sociopath with the intent on manipulating you. It sounds extreme but really, it’s the only way you’re going to increase your chances of getting the product that lives up to your standard.

I’m very picky about my products which is why I will spend hours upon hours searching through comment sections. It’s not as if I don’t take into account that every product will have a few defective ones, but there are patterns within the comments that you can find that can alert you to major defects. Like too much treble and little bass, the exact opposite of what I want.

It’s  like those psychology professionals who base their entire treatment off the fancy textbooks they read in college. They don’t read the hypothetical comments section. They don’t have insight to how people’s lives work who have to live with the disorders, they just know what symptoms you should have and what treatments are listed in the computer for them and they make sure you know it too. Then you start obsessing about what you could have think you’re a professional able to shout out a diagnosis to the world. Stop it. Stop.

For Website stopsign

Why would you want to diagnosis yourself with something anyway? I’m sorry, I always laugh at this. I’m not trying to be rude if you’re someone who does this, but it’s labeling yourself. Is it to rationalize the stuff you’ve been going through? To justify your behavior? What is it? What’s the point?

I could fit any number of diagnoses based on the basic criteria. Because that’s just it; the criteria is pretty basic. A lot of people experience symptoms of mental disorders in their lives, because holy shit we’re human. If you’re one of those overly sensitive people, you might just be labeling yourself with something you don’t even experience.

BestBuy CloudsIt’s like going into Best Buy and believing everything the little tech people tell you. You have to research the product before you go in their asking them. You might not even know what to ask. When I was browsing for my computer I didn’t know one thing about harddrives or intel cores or AMD cores or anything really. So I spent a good three weeks learning everything I could and when I went into Best Buy to browse the products. The little signs they put on the side of their computers didn’t have half the information I did. They rarely mentioned the core performance and only covered the things that made the computer look good: you know, whether or not it has beats audio or touch screen or social media apps or whatever people get sucked into.

It’s like the SDHC cards for cameras that say “super fast performance” and charge you $99 for a 64 GB card when the $20 64GB card right next to it literally does the same thing. I read the back of the packages. I read them three times. “Super fast performance”? On a card? How fast do you want your pictures transfer on your card? You want it to be on there at the speed of light? You want the picture on the card before you even fucking take the picture? You want the pictures transferred from the card onto the computer before you even put the card into the SD slot in your computer? Because that’s never going to happen. You’re paying $99 dollars for bullshit.

The moment I press the button on my camera is the moment the picture is on the $20 card, give or take a second. The moment I slip it into the slot is the moment my computer imports my picture. They’re crystal clear, perfect, and just the way I took them. I don’t know how much faster or “super performing” it can get.

You’ve got to be really anal to pay 70 more dollars for another seconds worth.

You’ve got to be really arrogant to base your entire treatment as a professional on textbooks only. That’s like purchasing something online based on the amount of stars it has without ever glancing at the comments.

*Disclaimer*: I did the review of these realities because I received them at a discounted price in exchange for my very, very honest and excruciatingly biased opinion.


P.S: You know that moment when you’re so excited about using Photoshop and Adobe Illustrator and all those other fancy products to create amazing things for yourself and for others to enjoy and then you realize you have so many amazing ideas but don’t know shit and you open the products and you spend four hours trying to do two things because the only thing you can remember how to do is cut and transfer an image into another image? Then you find out transferring a Illustrator image into Photoshop isn’t as easy as you thought? And you download bridge and it still doesn’t transfer right? And then you realize this is why people take classes for that shit? And then you have to shrug your shoulders because oh well, now you have to each yourself?

Don’t be like me.

2 thoughts on “Broken Earphones = Hell To Pay”

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