I Will Never Have A Career In Graphic Art . . . Obviously

There are two things I will never understand in this world.

  1. Stupid people
  2. Really stupid people

Now, I don’t usually sit here and waste my time talking about your average stupid person, mostly because they’re average and tend to pop up anywhere you go. You know, like that one person who stops to talk with their friend in the middle of the walkway and doesn’t care to move to the side to let the fifty people behind her pass. Or that one person who sits in the middle of the staircase and talks on their phone. They’re you’re average stupid–I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of doing something of that nature a few times in our lives. So we’re all stupid, if that makes this post feel any less . . .offensive.

But then there are the people who are a special kind of stupid. They live under rocks and poke their head out every once in a while just to lock eyes on their prey. When they find them, (the prey is usually me) they smirk to themselves, spend all night laying out the blue prints of their evil plan, and put up all their traps while I’m still tossing and turning in my unsound sleep. When I wake up, I can smell their pheromones. It’s a pungent scent, something like . . . rotting eggplant someone tried to spritz with Brittney Spears perfume.

And the next thing you know, I’m pulling out into the street and some crazy lady speeding down my residential street slams on her brakes and gives me an evil look. I back up accordingly. I give the car next to me an evil look. Do you know why I give the car next to me an evil look? I give the car next to me an evil look because his stupid ass is parked in the red zone.

Well, here’s the thing about my driveway. If you park in the red zone, the street is not visible.

People these days are driving Tesla’s and Priuses, how the fuck am I supposed to hear if a car is coming?

This is better done with a visual, hold up.

First picture tale of car red zone

Stop laughing at my fucking drawing skills.

Now, as you can see, there is a really obvious red zone. People are not supposed to park in the red zone. I gave up believing this is for emergency services (I’ve called them enough to know they just pull in the parking lot) and started believing this is for the safety of people pulling out of the lot, because if even one car parks in that zone, you cannot see any traffic coming towards you. Now unless they’re stuck in the fifties and driving a clunker, you’re also not going to hear them. So let me now give you my view of this situation:

front of car

No matter how far you inch out, you will not see around this big fucker. This is not a one time thing, this is something that happens every other morning. I understand there is not a lot of parking in this neighborhood. The spaces in my apartment complex are paid for, so the people who paid for them get special spots. The rest of us Hunger-Game it out until we get a free spot, hence why I often park next to a spider infested bush in front of the street. Sometimes I have to park a block away and walk my ass. But at least I’m not a lazy asshole and park in literally the only spot, THE ONLY SPOT, on the ENTIRE STREET where you’re not supposed to.

not amused

They usually live across the street. They take their junk out of their backyard and put it on our yard, they park their cars on our side of the street, and they blast their fucking party music all night long. There’s something wrong with that apartment complex. They’re all whacked out on coke or something.

I have no tolerance for inconsiderate behavior. These people are lucky I haven’t seen their car yet. Because the moment they park in that red zone again and almost cause an accident is a moment they get a very distressed, sarcastic, and quite possibly offensive note from me warning the next time they do so I’ll alert the police. Or take a hammer to their fenders and a knife to their tires. At least I’m nice enough to give a warning.

I’m not one to have the police solve my problems for me, but I am one to have stupid people fined for their stupidity. It’s better than getting sent to jail for vandalism.

On five hours of sleep, I can’t handle this shit.

I skipped chem lab today for two reasons: 1)I’m tired as fuck; 2) My lab partner isn’t going to be there and I don’t want to be a loner! I hate merging into new groups, I hate it, I hate it, and I refuse to do it. I don’t care if it’s a maladaptive behavior to avoid what makes me anxious, I don’t have the energy to put up with that level of anxiety today.

It makes me anxious that half of the time I have to fight with these posts to even get them to show up under the tags I tag them with.

It makes me anxious that I have to fight with Microsoft/Xbox to get my ten dollars back for a game I bought on this PC that won’t open in the full version (only the trial version) even after I bought it. Now come on Bill Gates; how many billions of dollars do you have? Give me my fucking ten dollars back. Don’t make me take this to the supreme court, because I’m just crazy enough to do that.

This is why I’ve been a PlayStationer since I was six years old and first held a controller and shot little green and tan army men. PlayStation is Love; PlayStation is Life. Xbox is worthless.

Sorry, if you’re all into Xbox live and all that stupid shit. Sure, I’m pissed I have to pay 50 dollars for a PlayStation plus subscription in order to play online whenever I get a PlayStation 4, but it’s still better than Xbox. A donkey taking a shit on my burger made of ground rotted human flesh is better than Xbox. I think you get my drift.

Also their controller is dumb.

I will say I’m more for PC than Mac, but more inclined to buy Intel than AMD . . .as I sit on a PC with the latest AMD processor. Whatever. There’s not a computer in the world worth the amount of money apple demands. I paid less for my fucking car. That’s not a joke. I got a used car for less than I could get an Apple computer. Let that sink in. Just let it sink in.

For the record, my car runs great and isn’t a junker. I paid $1600. Best Buy wants $2000 for a Mac.

That is all.

P.S I swear to God if this post doesn’t post under the tags I gave it, I’m going to explode some hookers.

9 thoughts on “I Will Never Have A Career In Graphic Art . . . Obviously”

  1. Hahaha, the hilarious thing about the end of this post is that my car was also exactly $1600! (Oh, and it’s a Mercedes, so I bought a MERCEDES for less than an apple computer!)
    Although I’m not going to defend Microsoft, either, because I’m really pissed that they want me to pay $200 to “activate” the WIndows 10 they claimed would be FREE for my gaming laptop. (I’m already angry enough that I have to use Windows at ALL in order to play 80% of my games, and now they pull this crap? There’s a reason I stick to Linux for my main computer… Well I mean, it’s free AND a billion times easier to use.)
    Oh and don’t even get me started on how awful Xbox is; I’m terribly ashamed that my brother and his friends are all Xbox gamers, and I barely even play video games.

    Anyway though, to the point of the post, I totally feel you. Stupid people are the WORST; I cannot even begin to describe the homicidal rage they incite in me. Especially stupid people that drive. And who think that going 30 mph and cutting corners in the parking garage is something they should do. Which is literally every freshman at my college. (Sometimes, I want one of them to hit me just so they finally have to deal with the consequences of being such idiots… But I really don’t want to be in a car accident.) Then there are those people who park in no parking zones (and assholes who take up two parking spaces), which also describes a good percentage of students at my school. They really just deserve to have their car smashed if you ask me.

    The worst part is, I know these people can’t REALLY be plotting against me and using their stupidity to make my life a living hell because they’re really just too STUPID to have the capacity to even think to do that…. It must be that some cosmic force just hates us, so they put these idiots on the planet just to make our lives miserable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! that just makes Mac’s ridiculously overpriced then! Whoa, whoa, you have to pay to update to Windows 10??? Well, scratch that for my laptop then lol. I’m glad I bought this thing with it already installed. I actually like it better than windows 7. I won’t even talk about windows 8. I totally feel you with the people speeding through the parking lots, especially on campus! They’re insane! haha maybe it is a cosmic force because they do seem to pop up in our faces right when we really don’t need them to. One chick in my campus parking lot actually had the audacity to keep walking right towards my car like I’m going to stop for her. I mean, just all causal and slow, walking straight to my car, staring in my eyes, waiting for me to stop and let her privileged ass walk through. I didn’t. I just swerved close enough to her to freak her out. I can’t stand when pedestrians act like their body can handle the hit of a moving vehicle.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, supposedly it’s free if your windows 8 factory install has a good serial number, but apparently the serial number for my laptop had been used to install windows 8 multiple times or something so it doesn’t count? I don’t really get it; they basically upgraded the OS to 10 but then decided the serial number was bad so it keeps prompting me to activate windows for $200. It’s a huge mess, definitely be glad you don’t have to deal with it, haha. I just miss Windows 7, at least I knew my way around that one really well; I can’t figure anything out on the newer ones!

        Ah, I know! I hate idiots like that, I mean, walking in front of cars in the MIDDLE of the aisle of the parking lot can’t possibly sound like a good idea, yet people do it.
        You know, it kind of makes me wonder, how did they even get IN to college…?
        Hopefully that taught her, though! (: I agree, I can’t stand pedestrians who think that they have the right to force motor vehicles to just stop for them no matter what! I mean, it goes both ways; if they expect me not to hit them, then I certainly expect them not to do stupid things like walking in front of a moving vehicle. I had a super similar experience the other day when I was driving out of the garage and this line of 3 or 4 kids skateboarding down the ramp almost hit me – mind you, there are signs EVERYWHERE that no skateboards, etc are allowed in the garage; and then the worst part was that THEY had the nerve to give ME dirty looks, like I was the one doing something terrible by driving (god forbid, someone drives their car in a parking garage).


      2. Oh God, it sounds like they’re just trying to screw with you. I mean, I might have been able to cut them some slack if they said “activate for 75$”. But 200? For something that was supposed to be free? Oh, there’s a few choice words I could think about for that situation XD. I enjoyed windows 7 too, it was simple but sophisticated. Windows 10 is like a combo and its . . ehhhh. So far lol. I’m eager for updates.
        People who are just ridiculous in the most obvious ways probably got into college because they’re just so ridiculous that the college needs them for their quota XD.
        LOL! Those skateboarders, they’re so arrogant! It’s insane! They really feel you’ve just invaded on their property lol


  2. Lmao, you’re awesome! and no, I will not stop laughing at your fucking drawing skills 😉 Yep, this kind of stupidity is on a whole other level…except, I don’t believe this type of person is stupid…giving them that title is being a little too nice and makes them a little too excusable…these people are what I like to call “Entitled, Ignorant “CU#TS” I really have to despise a person to honor them with that title as I can’t even say it or as you can see write the word out in full lol I would contact the police…for their own protection…from me lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! It’s fine, I was laughing at them too XD. I agree lol, those kind of people are just . . . I don’t know where their brains are! Maybe it spilled out of their ear in the shower or something, I don’t know. Exactly; calling the police would be doing them a major favor. Unless they want to drive around in a bent up piece of shit car with a hammer through the windshield.

      Liked by 1 person

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