I Will Never Have A Career In Graphic Art . . . Obviously

There are two things I will never understand in this world.

  1. Stupid people
  2. Really stupid people

Now, I don’t usually sit here and waste my time talking about your average stupid person, mostly because they’re average and tend to pop up anywhere you go. You know, like that one person who stops to talk with their friend in the middle of the walkway and doesn’t care to move to the side to let the fifty people behind her pass. Or that one person who sits in the middle of the staircase and talks on their phone. They’re you’re average stupid–I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of doing something of that nature a few times in our lives. So we’re all stupid, if that makes this post feel any less . . .offensive.

But then there are the people who are a special kind of stupid. They live under rocks and poke their head out every once in a while just to lock eyes on their prey. When they find them, (the prey is usually me) they smirk to themselves, spend all night laying out the blue prints of their evil plan, and put up all their traps while I’m still tossing and turning in my unsound sleep. When I wake up, I can smell their pheromones. It’s a pungent scent, something like . . . rotting eggplant someone tried to spritz with Brittney Spears perfume.

And the next thing you know, I’m pulling out into the street and some crazy lady speeding down my residential street slams on her brakes and gives me an evil look. I back up accordingly. I give the car next to me an evil look. Do you know why I give the car next to me an evil look? I give the car next to me an evil look because his stupid ass is parked in the red zone.

Well, here’s the thing about my driveway. If you park in the red zone, the street is not visible.

People these days are driving Tesla’s and Priuses, how the fuck am I supposed to hear if a car is coming?

This is better done with a visual, hold up.

First picture tale of car red zone

Stop laughing at my fucking drawing skills.

Now, as you can see, there is a really obvious red zone. People are not supposed to park in the red zone. I gave up believing this is for emergency services (I’ve called them enough to know they just pull in the parking lot) and started believing this is for the safety of people pulling out of the lot, because if even one car parks in that zone, you cannot see any traffic coming towards you. Now unless they’re stuck in the fifties and driving a clunker, you’re also not going to hear them. So let me now give you my view of this situation:

front of car

No matter how far you inch out, you will not see around this big fucker. This is not a one time thing, this is something that happens every other morning. I understand there is not a lot of parking in this neighborhood. The spaces in my apartment complex are paid for, so the people who paid for them get special spots. The rest of us Hunger-Game it out until we get a free spot, hence why I often park next to a spider infested bush in front of the street. Sometimes I have to park a block away and walk my ass. But at least I’m not a lazy asshole¬†and park in literally the only spot, THE ONLY SPOT, on the ENTIRE STREET where you’re not supposed to.

not amused

They usually live across the street. They take their junk out of their backyard and put it on our yard, they park their cars on our side of the street, and they blast their fucking party music all night long. There’s something wrong with that apartment complex. They’re all whacked out on coke or something.

I have no tolerance for inconsiderate behavior. These people are lucky I haven’t seen their car yet. Because the moment they park in that red zone again and almost cause an accident is a moment they get a very distressed, sarcastic, and quite possibly offensive note from me warning the next time they do so I’ll alert the police. Or take a hammer to their fenders and a knife to their tires. At least I’m nice enough to give a warning.

I’m not one to have the police solve my problems for me, but I am one to have stupid people fined for their stupidity. It’s better than getting sent to jail for vandalism.

On five hours of sleep, I can’t handle this shit.

I skipped chem lab today for two reasons: 1)I’m tired as fuck; 2) My lab partner isn’t going to be there and I don’t want to be a loner! I hate merging into new groups, I hate it, I hate it, and I refuse to do it. I don’t care if it’s a maladaptive behavior to avoid what makes me anxious, I don’t have the energy to put up with that level of anxiety today.

It makes me anxious that half of the time I have to fight with these posts to even get them to show up under the tags I tag them with.

It makes me anxious that I have to fight with Microsoft/Xbox to get my ten dollars back for a game I bought on this PC that won’t open in the full version (only the trial version) even after I bought it. Now come on Bill Gates; how many billions of dollars do you have? Give me my fucking ten dollars back. Don’t make me take this to the supreme court, because I’m just crazy enough to do that.

This is why I’ve been a PlayStationer since I was six years old and first held a controller and shot little green and tan army men. PlayStation is Love; PlayStation is Life. Xbox is worthless.

Sorry, if you’re all into Xbox live and all that stupid shit. Sure, I’m pissed I have to pay 50 dollars for a PlayStation plus subscription in order to play online whenever I get a PlayStation 4, but it’s still better than Xbox. A donkey taking a shit on my burger made of ground rotted human flesh is better than Xbox. I think you get my drift.

Also their controller is dumb.

I will say I’m more for PC than Mac, but more inclined to buy Intel than AMD . . .as I sit on a PC with the latest AMD processor. Whatever. There’s not a computer in the world worth the amount of money apple demands. I paid less for my fucking car. That’s not a joke. I got a used car for less than I could get an Apple computer. Let that sink in. Just let it sink in.

For the record, my car runs great and isn’t a junker. I paid $1600. Best Buy wants $2000 for a Mac.

That is all.

P.S I swear to God if this post doesn’t post under the tags I gave it, I’m going to explode some hookers.