So maybe I’m a little behind times but . . . uh, why is there an energy drink named 51Fifty?

I got this image on my kik this afternoon:


Today is the last day I feel like seeing some stupid shit like this. Are you 51Fifty? I’ll show them a real 51Fifty by shoving 51 of their cans up their asses. Their slogan is “Live The Madness”. Thanks for adding insult to injury.

Here’s the irony of it all: on their Facebook page they promote things like the 7th annual “Rock N’ Ride for Autism”. If I were promoting or involved with any autism awareness groups with an offer to be sponsored by this disgrace of a business, I’d send a ripe ole’ “fuck you” straight to the head of their department. The last thing people struggling with autism need is another label of crazy or mad tagged onto their already infamous labels of unsociable, weird, awkward, and retarded.

What dumbass in their meeting room suggested that name? And who’s the dumber dumbass who came up with that slogan? I’m dead serious, I want names. You can tell no one on that team of marketers has ever experienced the severity of mental illness.

And just what the actual fuck:

So smooth it’s crazy.

That commercial doesn’t even make sense. They don’t they show the reality of their label. Why not have someone running down the streets with a knife in their hand threatening to cut the chip out of their head if the government doesn’t stop reading their thoughts? Or, better yet, tell the story of the man who drove to the cliffs four minutes from my house a month or so ago, put a revolver to his temple, and blew his brains all over the cab of his truck. Put that in your fucking commercial and tell me it increases sex drive and energy.

I’ve taken statistics and I really hate bringing them into a conversation, or even thinking about them really, but 1 in 4 people live with some form of mental illness and there’s no doubt in my mind most all of them have been called “mad” or “Crazy” by someone with little understanding of what mental illness means or the mental anguish we endure just to live through another day. I know I have. I’m sick of products and people desensitizing and glorifying our reality. It’s not a joke. I laugh at some stupid shit, but I find nothing about this product entertaining.

People in their fifties don’t drink energy drinks. Teens, people in their twenties, drink energy drinks, the one group of people we need in this fight against stigma. They’re the ones who can take the stereotypes of old, disprove them, and spread the word of our reality. Thank God Girl Scouts can earn a mental health awareness badge and Thank God the International Bipolar foundation created such a thing. We need kids aware of the truth before they can walk into a gas station by themselves and buy this filthy drink. I hope it fucking tastes like the blood of a thousand suicides and a years worth of psychosis.

Carlos Vieria. Found him. He’s some race car driver who used the term 51Fifty because everyone always called him crazy. What a dumbfuck. All over the foundation website: “Race for Autism! Race for Autism!” God, does he even know how stupid he looks? Does he know what irony is? Can he spell irony? Or is that too hard of a word for him?

51fifty bs

Maybe Carlos is a nice guy. He’s just too stupid for my liking, though.

From my understanding it doesn’t have the success of Monster or Rockstar, and it shouldn’t.

I may just visit and be one of probably many who will slash their name to pieces in their face. I’m one of those people who spam emails until I get an answer. You don’t insult me without getting insulted back. Maybe that’s a bad track of mind, maybe an eye for an eye does make the whole world blind, but there are too many stupid people with the opportunity to be stupid for me to let them take both of my eyes without me taking one of theirs.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s